


In This Life And All The Others

by ladyhavilliard



Category: A Court of Thorns and Roses Series - Sarah J. Maas
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/M, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 14:28:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17899865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladyhavilliard/pseuds/ladyhavilliard
Summary: It’s been six years since Feyre turned 18 and started dreaming about her past lives, never quite remembering them after she woke up. To stop those dreams and get her memories back, she has to meet her soulmate. But after six years, she had started to loose hope.





	In This Life And All The Others

_Don’t forget him. Don’t forget him._

_Not again._

_You can’t forget him._

I repeated the words over and over again, just like I had done hundreds of times. I kept my eyes shut tight, trying to hold onto the image. My heart pounded fast against my chest and I bit my lip so hard it hurt. But I didn’t notice any of it.

No, I focused on the already fading scent. I did everything in my power to hold onto it.

And when I opened my eyes, everything was gone. Jasmine, citrus, ocean breeze. That was the scent. I knew the combination, but I couldn’t feel it anymore.

And more importantly- he wasn’t there. The one this scent belonged to, the one who left me breathless with just an innocent touch, who could make my knees weak with one simple glance. The one who made my heart beat so fast, that I began to wonder whether it would explode.

He wasn’t there. And I couldn’t remember him.

No- I didn’t _know_ him.

We’re told reincarnation is real, that we all have previous lives. Before she died, my mother used to tell me that people start dreaming about their past lives when they turn 18. Those dreams last until they find their soulmate.

I didn’t believe it at first, it sounded like a children’s tail. Now, I want it to be true.

It has to be true.

Though I’m beginning to lose hope again.

It’s been six years. I endured six damned years of dreaming about my previous lives. There were some things I remembered after I woke up and others that were just blurred images, the ghost of a memory.

The glimpse of golden hair. A necklace of rubies so red they looked as if they were made of blood. A silver blade showing from the shadows. A cheeky grin from a man with beautiful tattoos, curling like smoke on his chest. Falling stars.

The scent of jasmine, citrus and the ocean breeze.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t remember his face, his voice, his name.  The scent and the feeling I woke up with were the only things I could connect to him.

When I stood up, the thoughts about him were still haunting my mind. Nothing changed while I took a shower, had breakfast or went to work. This, whatever it was, never faded away. No, it only became much, much stronger. Whenever I heard someone say ‘darling’, looked at the stars, painted, even when I ate soup, I got this weird feeling. I smiled without knowing why and suddenly felt at home.

It was a strange feeling indeed. As if a part of me, the part that knew this man, was asleep, but my heart always recognized him. I knew literally nothing about him, but every time it happened, it was as though I slowly fell in love.

The streets were quiet that early in the morning. Velaris, the bookstore I worked in, even more so.  I couldn’t complain, though. The lack of customers allowed me to sketch in my notebook and those sketches helped me save those dreams. Line after line, a lovely mountain cabin appeared on the paper, the hewn mountains behind covered in snow.

Had I lived there? Why was it so important to me?

The doorbell rang, announcing a customer had just come in. I put the notebook down and looked at the short girl in front of me. She spent a few minutes looking at the fantasy books, her brows furrowing in concentration. A long moment later she sighed, obviously not able to find what she was looking for.

“Can I help you?” I asked then.

“The last book in the-“ she began, then interrupted herself as her eyes met mine. “A fellow book nerd as always, I see”

The girl smiled. There was something way too familiar in the way her lips curved into that smirk or the way her silver eyes shone in the meantime. Then, her gaze still on me, she took a pen and a piece of paper out of her bag and scrabbled something fast.

“Um, sorry?” I rose an eyebrow at her.

“Right”, she clicked his tongue. “For someone who never loses her memories, I always forget you don’t remember anything.”

The moment those words escaped her mouth, my eyes wandered to the stones around her neck and I caught my breath.

Rubies. The same colour as blood.

“Never mind, just forget what I said. I have to go anyway.”

“What about the book you were searching for?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.”

Before I knew it, she had left. I ran out the door, hoping to catch her before she disappeared, but it was already too late.

How could someone this short run away so fast?

I didn’t have time to think about it. Because there, on the pavement in front of the store, she had left the note she wrote.

_I can never understand why you’re always the last one to join us. I’ll see you soon, girl. They all miss you, even though no one can really realize it. I miss you too. You’re family. In this life and every other._

She knew me. I had no idea how, but she did.

And I did, too.

That night I couldn’t think about anything but this girl. I had finally a face I could connect to those dreams and it was more than I could’ve asked for. I drew her over and over again, always adding something from those blurred memories that I thought suited her. Jewels. Lots of gold. A dragon tattoo she must’ve had in a previous life. A messy room, books and papers splattered all around. For the first time in six years, I felt hope rising again. If this girl existed, if what she had written was true, he was somewhere out there, too. And I would meet him, no matter what I had to do.

The next day was just as every other. But not for me. I was excited all the time, always waiting. Every time the door opened, I jumped and hoped she would come in. Then a man searching for a gift for his daughter or a group of teens would come. Eventually my shift ended and when Alis came to replace me, I couldn’t hide my disappointment.

“What’s up with you today, Fey?” she asked. “Waiting for someone?”

“Kind of” I shrugged. It seemed pointless to tell her everything, so I decided to go with a half-truth. “A girl came yesterday and we had a nice conversation, but I forgot to get her number. I hoped she would come by again today”

“Ah, I see”

“I think I should go now. But hey, please call me if someone asks for me, okay?”

“Sure, Fey. You can count on me”

“Thank you! You’re the be-“ Someone opened the front door and I didn’t even finish the sentence before the familiar scent of jasmine, citrus and ocean breeze hit my nose. This time, it didn’t disappear.

I turned around, my vision already blurring with tears.

Standing before me was the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen.

I didn’t know him. I had never met him before.

And at the same time, I had seen him millions of times. In this life and all the others.

He was holding a note in his hands and I could recognize the silver eyed girl’s writing on it. But when my eyes found his, the note, the room, the whole world, _everything_ was forgotten. He was all I could see- the midnight black hair that fell in his eyes, a breathtaking combination of colours that looked like whole galaxies. The dark tattoos showing from under his white unbuttoned shirt.

By the look he gave me, I knew he was feeling the same way.

A tear of joy slid down my cheek when a wonderful smile graced his lips. Images of my past lives flashed through my mind and I almost fell on my knees.

I have always been in love with someone, I just didn’t know who it was.

And now, as this man stood in front of me, I finally understood everything. This strange feeling, the way my heart pounded every time I looked at the night sky… it all suddenly made sense.

“Rhys” I whispered unbelievingly.

His name escaping my lips… It felt so natural, as if I’ve known it my whole life, as if I’ve repeated it millions of times.

Perhaps I have. This was our beginning in this life, but we’ve had all the others after all.

“There you are” Rhysand said. The sound of his voice was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard.

“I’ve been looking for you, Feyre.”


End file.
